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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29171568">Black Flies (No Man is an Island)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ezmina98/pseuds/Ezmina98'>Ezmina98</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DCU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Death, Death in Childbirth, Gen, Heavy Angst, M/M, Tim Drake Dies, just so there's no undue surprises</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:20:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,164</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29171568</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ezmina98/pseuds/Ezmina98</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When the unthinkable happens and Jason becomes a widower and a single parent all in one fell swoop, he's forced to learn how to live without his mate and how to ask for help and accept it when it's offered.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tim Drake/Jason Todd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Black Flies (No Man is an Island)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'd like to thank stray cat strut on discord for betaing this for me, I really appreciate it</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>The hospital room was eerily silent. No cries or grunts of pain to be heard. No wails from the baby. Just the sounds of the machines and the doctors. Rushed words and even more rushed movements. Frantic. The dripping of blood, slowly gaining speed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sir. you’re going to have to leave, the doctors need room to work. Your family is in the waiting room, we’ll notify you once we have more information” a nurse said, grabbing the dark-haired alpha and guiding him out.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What’s wrong? Is Tim ok? Is our baby ok?” Jason asked, concern in his voice and fear gripping his heart, legs numb as he’s led to the waiting area.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“There have been some complications, we’ll come to you as soon as we have news,” the nurse says as Jason sinks into a chair beside the rest of the family.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What’s going on? Is Tim okay?” Dick asks as the nurse swiftly heads back down the hall.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span><br/>
</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t know. There was a lot of blood. They wouldn’t tell me anything” Jason says, his voice cracking in his distress,  “The baby wasn’t crying either”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then we wait” Bruce speaks up, the voice of reason, “This is the most well-funded hospital in Gotham, I practically paid for every inch of drywall and equipment. This is the best place for Tim and your baby to be right now, ok Jason?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jason gives a short nod, staring at his hands, but doesn’t respond otherwise.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A while later:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s been hours, why haven’t we heard anything?!” Jason suddenly snaps, Dick, Damian, and Bruce now looking directly at him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“They haven’t come out yet, it means they’re still working. It means that Timothy is still fighting. That they haven’t given up yet” Damian murmurs from his seat.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Moments later they’re proven correct.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The doctor is holding his scrub cap in his hands, a frown visible on his face. Jason hadn’t met him yet. He wasn’t in the delivery room, never saw him at any of Tim’s doctor's appointments.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are you the family of Timothy Drake-Wayne and his baby?” He asks, looking at all of them. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Is he ok? Is the baby ok?” Jason asks, having stood up the moment the doctor came in. they were the only ones left in the waiting room now, there was none else for him to be talking to.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The baby is ok, there was some fluid in his lungs, but we cleared it and we have him in the NICU for a few nights just to keep an eye on him, make sure he stays stable. If all goes well he should be ok to come home in a few days, a week at most.” he says before letting out a sigh and continuing, “Now for Timothy, he had lost a lot of blood before he got to the hospital, and even more in delivery. We did everything that we could, but he’d just lost too much blood too fast, and due to his hemophilia, he was bleeding faster than we could give him blood…” The rest of the doctor’s words turned to static in Jason’s ears. He knew what he was saying, but he couldn’t process the rest of it. Tears pricked in his eyes, burned in his nose.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No..” he breathed out, sinking down into his chair, his head in his hands.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Jason jerked awake, heart beating fast, and breaths coming out in harsh pants. His stomach roiled and his brow was slick with sweat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dragged a hand down his face, bringing a leg up and leaning against it as he tried to calm his breathing and the beating of his heart. Finally, after what felt like hours, he lifted his head and surveyed his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was empty. Wrong. It felt as if all life had been sucked out of it. It was empty and suffocating all at the same time. His bed felt too big, too empty but he wanted nothing more than to lie back down and see if he could smother himself with the remnants of his mate’s faded scent. Lavender and vanilla and rain. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tim.</span>
  </em>
  <span> His scent was fading quickly, gone altogether in some places. It seemed that his pillow was the one remaining object that still held some minuscule amount of his essence, and that too would be gone soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking to his side, he could see a bassinet, pale purple with nice powdery blue sheets. Tim’s choice. It was empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a sigh Jason hauled himself out of bed, and padded across the chilled floors of his room, heading towards the main living area.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he turned the corner into the living area, he was greeted with the sight of Bruce. He’s sitting in an armchair, facing a fire, but adjacent to where Jason was standing. In his arms, he held a small bundle, wrapped in a soft blue blanket. Another of Tim’s picks. He’s holding Jason’s son, two weeks old today, and a week out of the NICU.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Has he been up long?” Jason asked as he sat on the couch next to Bruce.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really. I happened to walk by and he was awake. You were finally asleep, so I figured I’d let him keep me company” Bruce rumbled, giving a tired smile when the baby gave a strong suck at the bottle, a little grunt coming from his small body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he said, taking a look at the older man. He looked exactly how Jason felt. Tired, broken. Trying to patch himself up and carry on. Like Jason, he needed to. The little boy in his arms was depending on them. All of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat in silence for a few long minutes, both looking at the baby. Pale skin, chubby, and full of life and color. A soft dusting of dark hair on his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s an old photo I saw last night. Maybe it was this morning.” Bruce said as he brushed a finger against the smooth and soft skin. “It was Janet Drake at a gala. Tim was maybe a week or two old. Just like this little boy. They look nearly identical, you know? He’s the spitting image of his mother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason stared at the baby resting peacefully in his father’s arms. There was already a visible dusting of dark hair on his head, skin pale like Tim’s. The doctors said it might change, but his eyes are the same as Tim’s. Jason wasn’t sure if he wanted them to or not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason felt the familiar heat and prickling sensation in his eyes and nose and looked away from the baby, staring into the fire instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It gets easier,” Bruce whispered, and it was barely noticeable when his voice cracks. “If you let yourself cry when you look at him, that’s okay. It’s hard at first. It feels impossible, but it gets easier. You just need to let it happen”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it? Does it get easier Bruce?” Jason whispered as he tried to blink away the pain. “I lost my mate. Tim was supposed to be here too. Instead, I have a black spot in my life. How would you know that this gets easier?!” Before he realized it, Jason had tears streaming down his face, the numbness in his body gave way to the soul-crushing heaviness of the situation. Jason’s voice steadily got louder as he spoke, causing the baby to start fussing. He whined and squirmed in Bruce’s arms, the growing volume in the room affecting him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you were the only person who lost somebody?” Bruce asked, trying to soothe the baby. “I lost a son Jason. Dick, Cass, and Damian lost a brother, Alfred a grandson. And Thomas? He lost his mother that day” Bruce said, a deep frown on his face as he tried and failed to soothe Thomas. He was crying now, fat tears running down his little face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seem to forget that Tim died so that his son, </span>
  <em>
    <span>your son</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jason, could live. Are you going to just throw that away?” Bruce whispered as he stood up from the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I won't,” Jason replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then hold your son Jason” Bruce snapped as he walked up to him, handing him the crying infant. Jason held him awkwardly at first, but Bruce helped him position his arms right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s so small” Jason whispered as he looked at his son, the baby still crying, but softer now as he looked at the unknown man holding him. He had hardly held him since he had come home, had barely even looked at him because it was too painful. But he was looking at him now. Looking at his icy blue eyes, practically identical to his mother’s, his dusting of black hair and his fair skin, much lighter than Jason's coloring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I messed up Bruce,” Jason whispered as he took in his son for what felt like the first time again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not too late to fix it though. It’s not too late to let yourself love him again. Like you did when Tim carried him” Bruce said as he watched him start to gently rock Thomas back and forth in his arms, a watery half-smile appearing on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never stopped, you know?” Jason replied, lips trembling as he spoke, “It was just too hard, too painful. It was easier to ignore him. I knew that he’d be taken care of and I took advantage of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We never expected you to not grieve Jason. I think we all knew this would be hard for you, we just underestimated how much help you’d need.” Bruce said as he rejoined his son on the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason looked down at the now calm baby, gently stroking the soft skin of his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right you know” he whispered, “He looks exactly like Tim did in that picture”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce </span>
  <em>
    <span>hn’</span>
  </em>
  <span>d in agreement as he watched father and son interact with each other. Granted there wasn’t much to watch, just Jason watching over his almost sleeping son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’ll probably sleep in your arms if you let him, but if you’re tired he doesn’t seem to mind the bassinet” Bruce rumbled from beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason hesitated before responding, “I think I’ll hold him for now. I’ve done enough sleeping these past two weeks”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t alone in this Jaylad. You have as much help as you need, and nobody will begrudge you for using it. They say it takes a village, you should use yours.” With those words, Bruce stood and made to leave the room, but not before he mentioned one last thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s late, but if you need any help you know where to find me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason watched Bruce leave, his cheeks still damp from the tears he had shed. Looking back at Thomas he felt his nose burn with more unshed tears, but this time he tried to power through it. He knew now that he needed to be a parent. He needed to be strong for Thomas, and that meant accepting help from his family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the early hours of the morning, when Thomas began to fuss, Jason stood and began rocking him again, easing him back to sleep. With sunlight beginning to peek in from the windows, Jason made his way back to what was now just his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There, sitting by the window was Tim’s first purchase when he fully realized they were having a baby. Bathed in the early morning light sat a grey upholstered rocking chair and bassinet duo. Flashes of Tim sat in the chair and softly stroking his swollen midsection flashed before Jason’s eyes. Once again he was forced to try and push back tears, but this time he couldn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With tears beginning to fall down his face, he settled into the chair with his son and started up a steady rocking pace. When he closed his eyes and settled in, he could still catch the faint smell of Tim lingering on the fabric of the chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a deep and shuddering breath, Jason hugged Thomas close to him and breathed in his soft baby scent. After what felt like hours but was really minutes, Jason let himself relax into the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hours later when Bruce walked by, that was how he found the father-son duo, Jason holding Thomas tightly to his chest as he dozed in the rocking chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a soft smile he approached the pair, softly speaking Jason’s name, not wanting to startle him and in turn Thomas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to bed Jaylad, Dick and I can keep an eye on Thomas for a few hours.” he said as he took Thomas from his father, “Try to get some real rest this time, Dick and I are going out tonight”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that said, Jason rose from the chair and made his way to his bed. He settled in and buried his nose in Tim’s pillow, pretending he could still smell his sweet scent on the fabric.</span>
</p>
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